Your Boyfriend Romeo Rose Wants to Babysit Kids

Romeo Rose, a.k.a your racist, sexist boyfriend who you loooooove sooooo much that you can't stop thinking about him, is back and requesting to babysit Austin-based children for the low, low price of $10/hour. » 7/21/14 10:30pm Yesterday 10:30pm

The Last Thing Putin Needs Is to 'Man Up'

Over the weekend, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), appearing on CNN's State of the Union, remarked that Russian president Vladimir Putin needed to "man up." What Feinstein meant, of course, is that Putin needs to grow up because manning up is the last thing that this bear-wrestling, gun-shooting shirtless horse… » 7/21/14 6:40pm Yesterday 6:40pm

John Oliver Uses Muppets to Trick Americans Into Caring About Prisons

As you might be aware, the American prison system is a fucked-up hell pit carved out by institutionalized racism, despicable politics, corporate greed and many other reprehensible factors that — culturally — we've mostly agreed to ignore. The issues facing our nation's incarcerated (a population rapidly growing)… » 7/21/14 12:20pm Yesterday 12:20pm

Hotwives of Orlando Is for Real Housewives Lovers and Haters Alike

It's hard to believe that we even need a comedic and heightened version of the Real Housewives franchise when New York Housewife Aviva Drescher will literally be pulling off her prosthetic leg and flinging it on the table during a dinner party in next week's episode AND YET somehow the new Hulu series Hotwives of… » 7/18/14 8:00pm Friday 8:00pm

Here Are All the Songs Weird Al Unleashed on Us This Week

Weird Al — a performer I've always loved not necessarily because of his music (which is fine!), but because he seems like the nicest human being ever — is in the midst of a massive video roll-out: 1 a day for for 8 days total. We've reached day 5, which means an entire work week of super charming parodies of Iggy… » 7/18/14 3:00pm Friday 3:00pm

Colbert Perfectly Calls Out Conservatives' Hypocrisy on Child Refugees

Conservative pundits are very concerned about the well-being of child refugees who are fleeing to the U.S. borders from Central America in droves right now. Why, they say, will no one think of the children during these times of crisis? At least the heroes of the right are considering these poor kids...mostly by… » 7/18/14 12:45pm Friday 12:45pm

Let's Look at Unrealistic Stock Photos of Drunk Women

The world is a dark and frightening place with little respite and, as such, you must cling to surprising, simple pleasures wherever you find them. If you're a gracious person, you might even be so kind to share your discovery with others so that they too experience this thing called "happiness." I am one of these… » 7/17/14 6:45pm Thursday 6:45pm

Binge Drinkers Voted 'Most Popular' Throughout Young Adulthood

If you're an adult in your 20s who's looking to become the most popular person in your social circle, you might want to double down on the hooch. A new study shows that young adult binge drinkers occupy the highest statuses in their friend groups, mostly because they're the ones usually spearheading the campaign for… » 7/17/14 1:45pm Thursday 1:45pm

New Dating App Requires Even Less Effort in Hunt to Avoid Loneliness

Online dating is hard. And not because going on dates kind of sucks or because you're constantly getting sexually harassed by strangers on the internet or because you feel like your soul/personality is slowly being commodified into something obscene and unrecognizable. I mean it's hard because swiping through Tinder… » 7/16/14 5:00pm Wednesday 5:00pm

No One Wants It: Robin Thicke's Paula Sells Only 530 copies in the UK

After a wildly successful social media campaign and extremely warm reception by the media, Robin Thicke's new album Paula has surprised everyone by tanking horrendously. Turns out that no one really wants to hear song after song about Thicke harassing his estranged wife. » 7/08/14 3:10pm 7/08/14 3:10pm